How are your kids learning about sex?
Have you been dodging those probing questions in the hope that the school will teach your child about sex?
If
you have, then you are not alone. A large portion of parents leave the
sex education to the schools, because they find the subject
uncomfortable and it is easier to say nothing than to say something.
But the truth is, to say nothing is to say a lot!
Whether
you like it or not, you as the parent are the child's sex educator and
they have been learning from you the day they were born.
The
schools teach anatomy, contraception, sexually transmitted diseases and
pregnancy and there is so much more to sex education than that. The
moral and emotional aspects of sex have to be addressed and this can
only be done at home.
Most parents don't realize it but they are constantly teaching, not only by what they say, but how they act, say and do.
So when is the right time to have that birds and bees chat?
Never!
Sex education for kids should start from when your child is born. So,
by the time the schools get around to teaching the anatomy, your child
should already be fully educated, with a large focus on the moral and
emotional aspects.
Many studies in the past have confirmed that
parents think they discuss sex much more with their kids, than the kids
say they do. So forget about thinking that one talk about the birds and
the bees is enough. Communication must be ongoing, but also consider
what kind of an example you set with your own actions. Television
viewing, reading habits, your talk about the opposite or same sex, your
nakedness and privacy all add to the sex education of your child.
And
remember we said that sex education starts from when the child is born?
They observe your actions, they listen to your words and they form
their own ideas. Begin your discussions early. If you haven't brought up
sexuality subjects with your kids by the time they are 10 they will
think they are taboo and shouldn't be discussed.
Take advantage of
teachable moments like TV programs, billboards, pregnancy's, animal
mating, etc. These are great opportunities not to be missed and never
think your child is too young, just don't overload them with too much
information. A simple, to the point, but honest answer will go a long
way to answering their questions and correcting their ideas.
Be
aware of the question behind the question. Often your child is asking
"Am I normal?" They need reassuring that other kids ask the same
question and they are in fact normal. Encourage them to ask more
questions.
Children, between the ages of 8 and 12, worry about
their development. Boys may worry about their penis size and girls their
breast size. These worries mostly come from discussions at school and
they will need reassuring from their parents. Children grow, mature and
develop at wildly different rates.
And when those questions come,
get emotional. Talk about the mechanics, but don't forget the unhealthy
aspects, like unwanted pregnancies and disease. Children also need to
know about the emotional aspects and what makes a health, caring
relationship.
Sex education is so much more than talking about the
nuts and bolts. It is about constant education while the child grows
up. This will set up a strong moral framework that they can take into
adulthood.
If you have been open and honest with your child's
questions since the beginning, it will form that almost magical loving
bond. It will encourage your child to come to you with any question in
the future. The best place for your child to learn about relationships,
love, commitment and respect is from you.
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